Emergency escapes analyzed

I speak of a topic that's socially not acceptable: bathrooms. While you silently spend a few minutes to yourself, this time is your most vulnerable. But what if this would become one's safe place during an emergency? There's definitely one on each floor of my building but who would ever think of using it as a safe spot at work? (Points finger at herself.)

#3 Beware of bathrooms via Zombieland

Beware is true when there are more than one stall but finding one with one stall that locks? Oh yea! That one stall locking bathroom is golden. If anything, at least I could survive on water and I had a place I could go. The door is made of steel and I can't see any obvious weaknesses. The ceiling is all cement. Maybe escaping through the ceiling would have been ideal but at least I won't have to worry about zombies falling through the sky. If anything I'm only 1.5 floors and a stairway away from the vending snack and drink machine. Or just a few steps away from the cubes where I know there's a lot of stashed snacks in desks. If I needed a weapon there's a couple of pipes I could try my best to jack from the wall or some steel vents I could reshape into a sword from the bathroom.

But if not for zombies this bathroom would still be great in times of hurricanes too. Actually when Hurricane Ike hit, there were quite a few people who took refuge at the building. It at least continuously had a/c, electricity, phone and internet which is more than what most Heights, Sugar Land or The Woodlands had. If I was out and about the only other place that could stand anything more would be Kelvin Arms's bank vault. But in terms of 2012 and if the world were to flood, well, then... I need another option.

Rhinos, whales and blenders

This is your one warning. Do not read this post if you are normal. It is not for you.





Photo: Qfamily: Flickr



Hubby called and said he was working late tonight. No big deal, I'll just go chill at the lab until he's done. So, I walk in and he looks really busy. He told me a rhino just attacked him and he had to put it down. So I ask him, "uhh... Where's the Rhino?"

Hubby: "I put him in the blender."

He tells me to watch the door because the clean-up crew is coming around soon and he didn't want them fucking around in here right now. I asked who was in the other room.

Hubby: "That's the security guard. He's gotta go in the blender too. He sort of... stop asking questions just watch the door."

I have no idea what's going on but I'm getting really pissed off. Hubby tries to console me about the rhino. All I can hear is the freaking blender. He tells me he was sorry that I got involved but I needed to go relax while he finished. He sent me to swim with the whales.

Hubby: "Watch out for the sharks. They can be real assholes."

So I get my wet suit on and I jump on the whale's back. He's showing me around the whole ocean. No joke, we are having a blast. All of a sudden we just drop endlessly until BOOM! We hit the ocean floor. He says, "I love doing that. It's so much fun free falling." -_-

When I open my eyes after the whale started swimming again I got more scared. We were swimming straight towards the sharks. One of them gets really close so I head butted him. (Note, if you slam the nose of a shark, they get dizzy. One thing I did learn in HS biology.) Of course we got through the shark territory ok.

That's when I woke up with a sore neck and freaked out to see Hubby getting ready for work and told him how horrified I was of rhinos, whales and blenders.

I guess that's what I get for playing with Legos before I go to sleep.