ABC in Beijing ... part I

This was Edwin and my first trip to China, second trip out of the states for me. Edwin is a little more world traveled than I but still I'm eager to fill up our passports with as many stamps as possible. And, since we're heading to China, I'm a little curious about a few things...

• How much do I stand out from other Asians?
• Am I really that much smaller than other people? Is Edwin that much taller than other Asians?
  
• How American are we really?
• Is the food better in the "mother" country?
• Will we get a cultural shock that some people talk about?
• Will we be able to get around with the amount of Chinese we know?
  

I planned to be disconnected from the world I knew for a couple weeks. Unfortunately China blocks social media sites and wifi isn't very "available" so I kept my tweets on my AK Notepad app on my G1. Hopefully you can follow along but it's not as if my regular tweets ever made sense either. So here goes, my trip by way of what I would have tweeted in 140 characters (or more).

November 30, 2009 -------------

Hell is other people. --- that's a new one to me #theanswerman

Am I the first to see your monsters? #thatswhatshesaid #theanswerman

Got corrected by the drink server for not saying please... MY BAD? #feelbadforyou #morningbreathelastslongeronflight @unitedairlines sucks

I love Rachel McAdams movies - too bad I tried to watch the Time Traveler's Wife twice and passed out at the end... twice #dimplesrule #ionlyhaveoneandahalf

You can't do this. I showed you my monsters! #theanswerman

December 1, 2009 (one day lost due to time/space travel) -------------

I've seen straight sunlight since I left Houston @ 820am... it's 12 hours later. #shadesaredowntofakenight

Good thing I played vball Sunday ... makes this time travel more bareable. #icantsitanymore #ifijumpwillifeelzerogravity #ijumpinelevators

If my feet swell while I'm on this flight does that mean my boobies and butt are swollen too? #justcurious

FINALLY! After 80 min 5 seconds I won the spider solitaire game... #slow #notmyfastesttime #iblametimetravel

Beijing Airport -------------

I feel like we're in Monsters, Inc. At any moment we'll see a bunch of yellow suited officials jumping some careless unsuspecting foreigner screaming "2319!" #plsbeme

Who would have guessed I'd possibly be infected by a virus from the US? #coughheresagiftchina #h1n1 #seriouslyJK

"Please take your belongings and GET OFF THE TRAIN." #dontcarewhereyougo #directtranslationsareawesome

Chang An Grand Hotel -------------

Wow... now I see why they say Americans are rude. #learnChinesecustomsfaster

Holy cow... how do you turn on the lights? #itsdark #paranormalactivityfollwedmetochina

Hi Chinese tv? I can't speak or understand Mandarin; therefore I can't read Chinese subtitles either. #racialdiscrimenation #wtharetheysaying? #iamtheotherchinese

Missed dinner and all the fancy flashing lights are out. #nothingtodoforlatenightowls #stupidamericans #damnjetlag

No one understands iced tea. #thereisnoicehere #novendingmachinesinhotel

December 2, 2009 -------------

It's 2:55 am in Beijing and I am still on Houston time - 1:55 pm #timeforlunch #itsdark #gobacktosleep #sigh

Oh! Food! Hot pot! #iamhungry #wearenotstopping :(

I wonder if they have a "Red Lantern" district... would it be inappropriate to ask our tour guide? #pervertsinBeijing #badtourists

@fuh23 is right... I am fake Chinese #pssshhh #whatareyousaying

Look! There's white people. #itsagame #itsfun #dontbesosensitive

All of these buildings and rooms look the same. It's like a maze. #ForbiddenCity #greathidenseekplace

There is minimal grass here. No wonder 9man plays on concrete. #vballreference #paranoidChineseppl #forbiddencity

I.can't.walk.anymore. #forbiddencity #tianamensquare #summerpalace

Summer Palace is way nicer... no wonder the women rule this palace. #grassandtreesarepretty #icouldlivehere #iamnotroyaltysoicant

Girl: Excuse me miss? Your food is ready. Excuse me? Hello? Me: d'oh that's me ok... #IjustlookChinese

@fuh23 & I are always hungry right about US lunch time... which ends up being 11pm or so. #weirdoAmericans

Beyonce is hot. If I had her trunk I would shake it too. #sweetdream #JayZisaluckyguy

December 3, 2009 -------------

My butt is sore from all the trekking. Oh Great Wall ... please be kind #miniChineseroadtrip

The Chinese do amazing things with rocks. #thatswhatshesaid

Two women carrying a cage full of dead pidgeons. #eeeeek #ijustate :(

@fuh23 just asked me if I was going to twit blog this whole thing. #hetries #itscute

Who knew pee pee boys would be a selling point? #drtea #reallycuteinstructor #ilovetea

42F and an hour ride on a rickshaw? #someoneisonsomemajoropium

Silk worms... #theChineseareslick #wolfinsheepsclothing #yesiamChinese

Whoa! Africans in the house #entourage #firstsighting #Chinaisnotdiverse

December 4, 2009 -------------

500 Days of Summer! Duck lunch... so fancy! #iloveDragonAir @standrewchang

I believe ... the end of one "sad chapter" brings the beginning of a happier one. #500daysofsummer #flyingmakesmesentimental

Destiny is for people who believe in fairy tales. And those who don't... maybe they're in denial. #ignoranceisbliss #randomness

Everything happens for a reason. It's up to each to figure out why. #randomness

Lady mines her cave while keeping her treasures between her fingers then throws them on the floor #ineedrubbergloves #masksareineffectual

Pee pee boy! Don't jump! The trip has only just begun :) #peepeeboywillbeworldtraveled

to be continued...